The Yang Slinger: Vol. XVIII
Social media can suck. Like, REALLY suck. But after far too many misfires and misdeeds, I've emerged to offer some lessons. Also, five questions with Ashley Kummer—aspiring journalist no more!
Once upon a time, I created my own Wikipedia page.1
This is not something I brag about. It’s certainly not something I’m proud of.
In fact, save my wife and my kids, I’m not entirely sure I’ve ever shared that fact with anyone. And, in my defense, Wikipedia then wasn’t Wikipedia now. This was in the dark ages, when a friend said, “Have you seen this online human dictionary? It’s sorta cool”—and e-mailed (probably via an aol account) a link to wikipedia.com.
I read over some of the entries, then (young ego aflame) was curious whether I could create a JEFF PEARLMAN page of my own. And, eh, it wasn’t difficult. I typed in my hometown, some of my books, my three places of employment and—voilà—I was official Wikipedia material.
Through the years, people have added information—generally stuff about new books, articles, that I’m one of 20 people someone may well have heard of from my tiny neck of the woods (Mahopac’s most celebrated export is former Seattle Mariner Dave Fleming). Once someone typed in that I was a dick-sucking athlete whore. Which was unfair. I’m more of a dick-sucking non-athlete whore.
Wait. I digress.
The point is—I’m the loser who created his own Wikipedia page.
And that’s not all.
Back in 2011 someone actually took the minutes from his life (it absolutely had to have been a guy) to create a FUCK JEFF PEARLMAN Twitter account. At the time the bio read “Jeff Pearlman is a cackling douche,” but upon latest check it reads as such …
This was in the relative infantine days of Twitter, when reaching out to the company was fairly simple. So I dropped a note, listing my books and explaining that someone out there (not named “Jeff Pearlman”) was calling himself JEFF PEARLMAN (“hater” wasn’t attached at the time).
A few weeks later, I received this …
The Black American Express card of social media.
I was on my way.
Not gonna lie—I’ve debated whether to write this post. Because at first blush, it makes me look sort of pathetic. In fact, far beyond sorta. I mean, what genre of tool bag creates his own Wikipedia page, then openly requests a blue check from Twitter? How big of a slug must one be?
Well—here’s the answer: I was a Grand Canyon-sized periwinkle who deserves any ridicule/scorn this substack entry inspires. But, it turns out, I was also a relatively wise one. Because through the years I’ve had dozens upon dozens of people verify me via the Wikipedia page or, while interviewing me on radio or TV, read my bio straight off of Wikipedia. I often think back to this blog post written by a former colleague—and the sentence, “He’s even got an entry in Wikipedia.” 2
Talk about a low bar …
The Twitter blue check is even more inexplicable—and an even bigger boom. I can’t explain it. Truly, I cannot explain it (Sometimes I imagine myself trying to tell 1999 Jeff about Twitter. It’d be like breaking down the Kardashians to my aunt who died in the early 20th century). But as soon as it arrived alongside my name, the social media world opened up. People followed me. People replied to my can-you-comment DMs. People genuinely seemed to view me with a status I long lacked. I’ve had an endless string of folks say, “Whoa, you have a blue check!”—and their surprise is warranted. I mean, who the fuck am I? What have I done? And why, in God’s name, does the blue check actually carry sway?
Alas, it’s the world we live in and, as journalists, the space we occupy. Most of us hate social media, but few-to-none of us can do much about that hatred. I know one big-time sports writer who isn’t on Twitter (ESPN’s Wright Thompson), and while I admire his refusal, I’ve always been a bit bewildered by it, too. We, as journalists, are eternally seeking information. And here, in one admittedly annoying spot, is an endless supply. Need to reach Taylor Swift’s backup singer? Twitter. Need to find the fifth Pac Man ghost? Twitter. Wanna track down members of the 1983 Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad? Twitter. It’s a fucking gold mine, sanity be damned.
So how to use social media?
What’s wise?
What’s dumb?
What’s wisely dumb and dumbly wise?
Let’s discuss.
First—dumb.
I am the king of dumb, and if you want proof head on over to the long-faded turf that is sportsjournalists.com, a once-thriving writer/reporter gossip hub that now has the feel of a faded shopping mall six minutes after closing. That’s no insult or dig at the site. Simply the state of message boards and chat rooms in the modern era.
Back in the day, however, sportsjournalists.com was the location for media gossip. It was talked about a lot—in press boxes, in newsrooms, over beers. What was being written? Who was dogging who? A solid 99.9 percent of the posters were anonymous, which only added to the heat and innuendo.
Anyhow, because I used to be this immature, thin-skinned, pining-for-attention Sports Illustrated douche, I (like many others, it turns out) would post about myself under a pseudonym. Not often. At most three times. Cough—OK, four. But (and this is an enormous but), I’m pretty sure I got caught/called out at least twice. Which isn’t unlike peeing in a Starbucks bathroom and accidentally leaving the door unlocked as Grandma enters.
There were also times when I’d try and reason with people. “Look, it’s me and I’m a genuinely nice guy and …”
It never went well.
The point is, I’ve earned my PhD in Online Journalism Stupidity. And based upon my experiences as a fool, there are three particularly dumb things we, as media members, can do in the modern era of social media:
• 1. Get political: I know, I know—how in God’s name can I (of all the shits) tell fellow journalists not to get political on social media? Answer: Because my life as a Trump-bashing, Heather Cox Richardson-re-Tweeting keyboard monster is a horrible example for others. First, because it turns off sports fans. It really does. Even those who agree with me. No one is seeking out politics from the guy who wrote a Brett Favre biography. Especially when there are so many available experts. Second, because it just makes you (me) miserable. There is absolutely no satisfaction in Tweeting out political rants. None. Zero. I’ve probably launched 5,000 of ‘em over the past six years, and at best I’ve convinced zero Republicans to vote differently. It’s just a big waste of time.
This especially applies to college students who want to enter the field. You have no idea whether your future bosses will be Democrat or Republican or independent. No remote idea. The last thing you want is your Biden-loving (potential) employer checking out your old Tweets (and your old Tweets will most certainly be read) and seeing, BIDEN CAN KISS MY ASS. You’re fired before you’re hired.
• 2. Use the medium to only hype yourself and your work: This is far too common, and it always backfires. You have a new book out—tremendous. You’re excited about it—lovely. You want people to buy it—of course. You Tweet the cover, then the cover again and again and again and again. With an Amazon link. And the Amazon link once more. And once more. It’s beyond obnoxious, and it causes folks to lose interest.
It’s salesmanship: 101—the best time share salesmen don’t peddle the time share. They peddle the free lunch that gets you in the two-hour time share presentation.
• 3. Tweet while angry: You think I’m joking. I most certainly am not. Tweeting while angry is an epic mistake, one that once resulted in my wondering aloud why all the women who appear on air at Fox News dress like hookers …
The ensuing two-day backlash was nothing short of misery—but warranted misery. I had types up my thoughts while working out on a treadmill, watching four women and Geraldo Rivera do their usual Trump cha-cha because my gym’s TV only offered Fox News. In other words, I was revved up.
Oh, one more—don’t use Twitter to air petty grievances or get personal stuff off your chest. The latest example comes from a few days ago when Jim Trotter, highly respected NFL writer, Tweeted this out …
Now, I 100 percent get what Jim is saying. And he’s right. But by the time you could say “Martin Muursepp!”3 78.7 percent of the world’s population identified the not-really-scratched-out scratched-out name as Chris Sheridan. And, to me, it winds up reflecting poorly on both men. Chris for … well, duh. And Jim for Tweeting it out and deliberately humiliating a colleague. Lord knows we all make mistakes.
It’s never fun being exposed for them.
Second—wise.
God, social media can be so great. I mean, it’s gotten a terrible name thanks to dunker-dicks like Donald Trump, Jr. firing off coked-up videos and 10-cent memes. But at its best, it’s journalism/media gold.
Here, in no particular order, is how …
• 1. Facebook+Twitter+Instagram=the greatest People Find apparatus in the world. This is no exaggeration. If you’re a reporter in 2022, and you have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, you can find anyone. Quite literally, anyone.
Example: my next book is about Bo Jackson. While reporting I went name by name through the old media guides from Auburn, the Memphis Chicks, the Royals, the Raiders, the White Sox and the Angels. I then typed name after name into social media sites. First, Facebook. Then Twitter. Then a little Insta. And I found (no lie) 80 percent of the people within 10 minutes per search. It’s a preposterous gift from the Red Smith Gods, and I’m shocked how many of my peers view Twitter first and foremost as a device to tell the world that the peanut butter at Corner Baker is too salty.
A little tidbit: If you wanna communicate with someone whose DMs are closed, a simple direct Tweet reading: @bojackson Hey Bo, any chance you can follow me so I can DM you a quick question relating to your career? works surprisingly well.
• 2. Building an audience matters. It sort of blows, but it does. Especially today, when so many papers/websites/magazines measure success not by quality, but by clicks. And there is no better way to build an audience than via social media.
Plus, here’s the thing: Done well, it can be oddly … fun. I mentioned the great Heather Cox Richardson earlier. Heather’s political takes are outstanding, but what makes her special is the engagement with readers. She answers questions, discusses issues, gives and takes. The same goes for people like Jeff Passan and Angie Thomas; like Jon Wertheim and Grant Wahl. They have big, loyal followings because readers feel as if they know them. And, in a sense, they do.
• 3. There’s absolutely, positively no better way to direct market a book. If you take a quick glance at my Twitter feed, you’ll notice I follow (gulp) 67,300 people. That’s insane, and (surface-level) reason for ridicule.
But here’s the tidbit behind the embarrassment: Whenever I have a book coming out about a subject, I go to that person’s (or team’s) Twitter feed and mass follow their followers. So, let’s say Bo Jackson is dropping in a few months. I’ll visit Bo’s Twitter page and start picking off his peeps. Like so …
It’s Direct Marketing: 101. I follow a Bo follower. That person thinks, “Who’s this guy following me?” He looks at my banner and sees a photo of Bo Jackson. He thinks, “Whoa, I love Bo Jackson” and follows me back.
Before long, lovers of Bo Jackson are directly receiving information from me about a book they’ll like. It’s fucking gold.
And, yeah, following that many people is painfully uncool.
But I’m a 49-year-old suburban dad who knows all the words to Nickelback’s “Photograph.”
I define uncool.
• 4. I’ve probably scored, oh, 2,000 tips (for books) via social media. Back in the day I was hyper secretive about what I was writing. I’d never tell people, “Oh, I’m working on a Roger Clemens bio,” because I was irrationally afraid of someone swiping the idea. That changed with my USFL project, when I decided to seek out opinions, thoughts, insights. And—whoosh!—did it work. Holy shit. People told me about their friends and neighbors who played in the USFL. They shared old memorabilia from USFL games. They had memories from tailgating in the New Jersey Generals parking lot; of meeting the Denver Gold halfback at a bar. The floodgates had opened, and the book’s quality was positively enhanced. I now always try and keep readers/followers in the loop.
Readers like to feel invested. They like coming along for the journey.
Social media allows that to blossom.
So … no, don’t create a pseudonym and brag on yourself. Don’t make a Wikipedia page and write up your genius. Certainly don’t refer to women as hookers.
But, also, don’t be afraid.
Used correctly, the resources are gold.
I repeat: Used correctly.
The Quaz Five with … Ashley Kummer
Ashley Kummer is a sports communications professional who works in brand development and creative storytelling. Having worked nearly a decade in sports media and marketing, her background includes launching a data initiative within the women's sports space, crafting storylines through written and digital strategy and developing brand narratives on social media. You can follow her on Twitter here.
1. Ashley, I first met you when you were an innocent high school kid in Florida dreaming of one day covering pro sports. You went to the University of Florida with that dream. You no longer have that dream. What happened?: To be completely honest, I was burnt out on the sports world in general once it came time for my college graduation. I had been chasing the dream of working in sports media since I was a junior in high school, so by the time I finished up my undergrad courses along with all the extracurriculars and internships, I really wanted to leave the sports world behind overall. And I won’t lie, I had a massive identity crisis because of it. Covering sports from a media lens had been my dream for so long, so when I figured out I didn’t want to pursue that route anymore, I didn’t know what to do.
Right after graduation though, I ended up landing a job at a performance marketing agency working in social media strategy. (What’s funny about that is that a month prior to graduation, I had no clue what a marketing agency even was.) After spending some time outside of sports with the marketing agency, I quickly found myself missing the sports world but knew I wanted to get back in it on my own terms and on my own schedule. Thanks to the network I had been building since high school, I began making some calls (OK, really Twitter DMs and emails), one thing led to another, and I got right back into the sports world just a few months after COVID took the world by storm. This time I was working fully in communications and marketing.
2. You work as the Account Manager at MarketPryce, an innovative two-sided marketplace empowering athletes and brands to make marketing deals. I have no idea what that means. What does that mean?: Haha fantastic question! So a little over seven months ago, I joined a rapidly growing start-up called MarketPryce, which is like you said, an innovative two-sided marketplace empowering athletes (and sports agents) to connect with brands and make marketing deals. In simpler terms, think of us as the tech platform (and now newly launched app) for athletes and agents to shoot their shot with brands for marketing deals directly, but instead of sending a blind DM via Instagram, we connect the parties in a similar way as a dating app would: directly to each other if both have interest in each other. I came on as employee number five and as the company’s first account manager where I managed all relationships on both the athlete/agent and brand sides of the business, ensuring both sides knew exactly how to make the platform work best for their specific marketing needs. The NIL legislation for the NCAA had just passed a week before I joined, so it was all the rage with both the athlete/agent and brand sides of the business when I joined. Now, fast forward a few months to the company being sixteen employees, I am one of three account managers and am focused solely on working with collegiate athletes, professional athletes, and sports agents in helping them not only just use the platform, but also advise them in building their marketing strategies and personal brands through high-level digital strategy from the ground up.
3. Back in 2018 you worked as a media relations intern at FOX Sports. That sounds awful/amazing. How was it?: It was a lot of fun honestly, and also very eye-opening. In my various internships prior to FOX Sports, I had never worked in a corporate setting and had really only been exposed to online media outlets and boot-strapped start-up life. My FOX internship definitely felt like my first big “big girl gig” in a sense that I had to go into an office wearing business casual attire, was working in a cubicle in the middle of midtown Manhattan, and that most of my work consisted of a lot of emailing throughout the day. I was there in the fall of 2018, so being able to have a direct impact (OK, kind of indirect since I was only an intern at a major sports news network. But still …) on FOX’s fall sports line-up of college football, Thursday Night Football, and the World Series was pretty cool. It definitely felt like the most internship-y internship I held throughout my college career too in a sense that it felt like what a traditional internship was supposed to be. If that makes sense.
4. As someone who works in marketing, but once wanted to be a journalist, do you feel like athletes care about the media any longer? Like, do we even matter?: It’s hard to say whether athletes as a whole still care about the media today, but speaking from an unbiased marketing perspective, I think all athletes should absolutely care about the media if they (the athlete) care even slightly about their image and personal brand. The media is, and always will be, the storytellers of society. They’re the voice for the voiceless. They hold the power to amplify stories that wouldn’t otherwise be heard. Their words, whether written or spoken, travel far and people ultimately listen. If I’m an athlete, the way I work with and talk to the media makes a big difference in my market value across the board.
5. Rank in order (favorite to least): Tim Tebow, Ron DeSantis, Tyler the Creator, purple balloons, Budweiser, the Empire State Building, Wesley Snipes, the smell of chlorine, old tissues.: Tim Tebow (duh), Tyler the Creator, the Empire State Building, the smell of chlorine, Budweiser, purple balloons, Wesley Snipes, old tissues, (50 feet of shit and then) Ron DeSantis.
This week’s college writer you should follow on Twitter …
Hannah Campbell, Ohio University sophomore and assistant opinion editor for @thepost.
People always talk up the journalism programs at schools like Missouri and Syracuse, Northwestern and Columbia, but Ohio University boasts a mini-powerhouse that continues to churn out exceptional scribes.
The latest in line may well be Campbell, merely a sophomore and author of this excellent piece on Spotify’s bullshit in regards to Joe Rogan.
Writes Campbell …
Excellent work, excellent points and a voice badly needed.
One can follow Campbell on Twitter here. Bravo, kid …
Yet another story of one of my myriad career fuckups …
I was working on my Walter Payton biography, “Sweetness.” One of the things I try and do is interview as many opponents as humanly possible—especially people whose names appear in various game stories through the years.
Soooo …
I find a number for Rick Kane, former Detroit Lions running back. I have a list of questions I’m prepared to ask. I know all about Rick’s boyhood in Nebraska, his time at Oregon and San Jose State, his games against the Bears.
I dial, and his wife Dianne answers.
“Hello …”
“Yes, my name is Jeff Pearlman. I’m a sports writer working on a book about Walter Payton, and I wanted to speak to Rick.”
Rick Kane is dead.
His wife is mortified, and lets me know it. She’s 100 percent correct. How didn’t I know? How couldn’t I know? How was my research so lacking that I failed to make sure Rick Kane was still with us?
I remain horrified.
Random journalism musings for the week …
Musing 1: Wanna thank Mirin Fader for pointing me toward this tremendous piece from the Washington Post’s Molly Hensley-Clancy, whose work on the sexual abuse scandal plaguing women’s soccer should earn her some serious Pulitzer chatter. In this age of clicks-clicks-clicks, it’s easy for publications to pass over stories like this in order for quick hits on LeBron and Ja. But, lord, this level of journalism is vital to our industry’s survival.
Musing 2: Watching ABC’s Rachel Scott chase down a Carl Lewis-like Kevin McCarthy was absolute bliss. Asking tough questions is hard. Asking tough questions of people who desperately don’t want to answer them is doubly hard. Good on Scott for giving it the ol’ college try.
Musing 3: I used to work for Matt Sullivan at Bleacher Report. We did not always see eye to eye. But I just scanned some of his work on the winter Olympics and Covid and, well, damn. Absolutely fantastic and insightful. Good on Matt for finding a niche, owning it and kicking ass. Need proof—check out his latest in Rolling Stone, “The Omicron Olympics: Behind the Scenes of a Covid ‘S–tshow’ China Doesn’t Want You to See.”
Musing 4: Such a sobering piece from Brodie Fenlon, editor in chief and executive director of daily news for CBC News, on the abuse reporters are taking from asshole protesters in Canada. It’s truly exhausting, watching self-anointed “anti-fascists” repeatedly show their misunderstanding of what genuine fascism entails.
Musing 5: Along those lines, I’m very alarmed by the effort to ban books from the library at Yorktown (N.Y) High, a stone’s throw from where I was born and raised. I actually engaged one of the ringleaders of the movement in a Facebook DM, and enjoyed this lovely exchange …
Classy.
The man clearly read none of the books he desires to be eliminated (they’re “Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out” by Susan Kuklin, “Jack of Hearts (and Other Parts)” by L.C. Rosen, “The Hate U Give” by Angie Thomas, and “Gender Queer: A Memoir” by Maia Kobabe), but he’s loud and obnoxious and full of fuel.
These days, that carries one far.
Musing 6: I was truly crushed to hear of the passing of Gerald Williams, the longtime Major League outfielder and one of the nicest guys I ever covered. Back when I was a young, easily intimidated Sports Illustrated baseball writer, Gerald would warmly greet me with, “Mister Pearlman!” To which I inevitably replied, “Mister Williams!” He made me feel welcome inside the awkward and somewhat hostile land of the Big League clubhouse. Just a smart dude, a witty dude, a good dude who oozed love. RIP, Mister Williams.
Musing 7: This week’s Two Writers Slinging Yang starts Joseph Goodman, AL.com sports columnist and author of, “We Want Bama: A Season of Hope and the Making of Nick Saban’s ‘Ultimate Team.’” It’s the craziest episode yet. Listen here.
Quote of the week …
“Who would succeed in the world would be wise in the use of his pronouns. Utter the You twenty times, where you once utter the I.”
The greatest lesson I’ve learned as I age: Own your shit. O-w-n it. Wear it. Admit it. Laugh at it. The day I stopped being embarrassed by my 1,000 past mistakes and misdeeds was the day I began feeling liberated. I promise, it’s true.
Perception is reality.
Google the name.